June II, Weeks 47 + 48: The End

Hello everyone, and thank you for your patience with this final grant period blog post! I still have one more reflective post to write, but writing this particular post has been pretty hard. Looking back at the end of the grant period's made me miss Taiwan dearly, but it's also reminded me how much fun I had going on adventures and spending time with people amidst all the goodbyes. Here's to the end of it all.

Monday, June 17th was pretty uneventful. I taught at Budai and did some lesson planning, but I also finally received our faculty photo! Very cute. I went grocery shopping with my roommate after school, then we went to a delicious duck restaurant in Beigang for dinner with some other county Fulbrighters, my partner, and a Yunlin ETA. The duck was incredible; we ordered sliced duck, duck rice, and duck geng (thick soup), all wonderfully rich and flavorful.

We grabbed some boba for dessert, then some of us went to see Inside Out 2 together. I liked it! It was sweet, funny, endearing, and had some suitably awkward moments for following a middle schooler's life. Overall, pretty good.

The next day, I did tons of errands and packing and stressing. I packed in the morning, then went to lunch at the Japanese restaurant with the delicious salmon and crispy tofu with my partner. We stopped over at Wencafé, which is a little coffee shop along the road to Liujiao, and it was cute! I had a lime drink and my partner got an affogato, then we headed home and I kept packing.

We cooked dinner with some Taibao Fulbrighters: chicken pasta with sundried tomatoes and garlic bread. It was pretty good! Unfortunately, everyone else had to rush to ballet (which I skipped again because of my injuries), but I was glad we had a little bit more time to hang out together. As the end of the grant period drew closer and closer, it felt like every minute of every day was packed with teaching, hangouts, errands, or just plain panicking. On the bright side, our dance teacher sent us a photo from one of our earlier ballet classes. In spite of everything (aka my knee injuries), at least it was cute to look back at our time together.

On Wednesday, I woke up feeling a little sick (as did my roommate). I went to school for oral exams, then in the afternoon, we had our final Fulbright workshop. In addition to our coordinators and LETs, some advisors, former Chiayi ETAs, and even Dr. Nadeau showed up. There were lots of speeches, presentations, and reflective exercises, but I think my favorite part was the DIY part of the workshop. We were given embroidered wishmaking pouches, then told to put tea leaves and papers with different wishes on them inside. Each color of pouch had a different meaning; mine was for wealth, but some others were for love or academic success. Afterwards, we took some group photos together, then attended a fancy farewell dinner together.

We went to a Cantonese restaurant called 竹居茶樓 (Zhuju Teahouse) with our workshop guests, and it was beautiful. Inside, the restaurant opened up to a courtyard with a large koi pond framed by overhanging willow trees, and each room was decorated with latticework and intricate wooden screens. Dinner was delicious, each table filled with heaping platters of roast duck, fried fish, crispy tofu, and more.

Once we'd finished eating, a couple of ETAs presented our cohort's paper plate awards, much like last year. This time, we only got one award, but I suppose one thing never changes: having a finger heart drawn on my plate. Mine this year was "Gotta Catch 'Em All", which commended me on my ambitious journey to visit every county before I leave Taiwan.

Everyone took photos together as we slowly streamed out of the restaurant, but it felt bittersweet, especially knowing some of us would never see each other again afterwards. Despite hugging people goodbye and having final conversations, it felt anticlimactic the way that one year, perhaps even two with some people, would end with a simple goodbye and nothing else.

The next day, I went to school with my partner for goodbye lessons and oral exams. It was a bit strange saying goodbye to this particular eighth grade class, especially when they were the most consistently rambunctious class I had, but I think they liked my goodbye lesson, and they'll miss me. I was surprised how many of the kids wanted individual or small group photos with me—it was endearing.

My partner and I got turkey rice for lunch, he had tea with my zhuren (school administrators), and then I did my oral exams. Then after school, I went to a scooter shop with one of my LETs to try to sell my scooter. My LET told me to be pretend to be local in order to get a better price, but to no avail. And to my great confusion when the shop owner kept talking to me in Taiwanese.

Back at the apartment, I made leftover curry for dinner, but the real star of the evening was our mango sago dessert. It took over an hour to boil the pearls, mix the coconut milk in, chill everything, etc., but it was definitely worth it! It was sweet, refreshing, and I'd certainly make it again.

On Friday, my LETs and I had a little end of year "party" at Guogou. I brought a little crepe cake from 85° Café and my LETs brought some pea cracker chips, a savory pastry, and a pink cake. After spending a year together, I'm glad the three of us could just chat and hang out a bit. It's only been a couple months, but honestly, I already miss them.

In the afternoon, I went home to be sick with my roommate. Fortunately, my partner was still healthy, so he ran us some pho for lunch and took care of us while we suffered. I tried to pack a little more and do some errands, but was mostly just sick. At least the three of us got to hang out a bit and watch an X-Men movie together.

My roommate and I were both still sick on Saturday, unfortunately. Even so, we ended up going to the city that evening for our cohort's big summer birthday KTV celebration since the two of us constituted half of the cohort's summer birthdays. In the afternoon, my partner and I headed to the city a little early to hang out. We ended up at a place called Sachuu Café, which served a blend of Thai and Taiwanese style desserts. The two of us ordered Thai milk tea, mango sticky rice cakes, and tiramisu, which were all pretty good, but I think the Thai milk tea pudding was my favorite.

Afterwards, the two of us went to the Chiayi Tile Museum. The tiles were beautiful and a little nostalgic; they reminded me of when I visited the museum with some other Kinmen ETAs last year. The museum made me miss my old cohort more, but at least it made me look forward to going back to the US so I could see them.

For dinner, we had hotpot with both Chiayi cohort members and friends from others. We went to KTV afterwards and sang for not two, not three, but four whole hours. My throat hurt too much to really sing, but we had some cake, laughed, and danced the whole evening. Although I didn't get to enjoy the evening as fully as I would've liked, it was fun to have one last KTV moment before leaving Taiwan. Last year, I felt like I went to KTV almost once a month, but this year, I think I only went twice. How times change.

Sunday was a big rest day. I spent the day paying the price for trying to sing at all at KTV, so I couldn't talk all day, and just drank a ton of hot water with honey. I didn't do much else, just a bit of packing. I had to take a sick day off the next day (Monday, June 24th) because I still didn't have a voice, sadly. I ended up deep cleaning part of the apartment, having a bento lunch with my partner, then going to Seimokuya for some drinks.

After school, my partner and I met my roommate at the High-Heeled Church in Budai, then went to the Zhounan Salt Fields. It felt good to visit the local parts of Chiayi before I left, and I felt strangely attached to the salt fields and the local wading birds. We visited a more famous salt field afterwards: Jingzaijiao Tile Paved Salt Fields in Tainan.

The fields were full of tourists, us three included. We played around in the salt fields with some salt rakes, then tried some amazing sea salt ice cream together. As the sun sank towards the horizon, the sky warmed from pale gold to brilliant tangerine, and we gathered to watch the sunset gleam over the salt fields. Then, we headed back to Budai, had delicious seafood for dinner, then went home. It was a small adventure, but a fun one that made me realize how much I'd miss Taiwan.

Sadly, Tuesday was my last day at Budai Junior High. I spent the day saying goodbye to my seventh and eighth graders, who were heartbroken I wasn't going to be there next year. One of my students even told me in English that she loved me, which was incredibly sweet. I had one final yummy school lunch, said goodbye to my LETs and gave them little tiramisus, then bid farewell to the school principal and my office coworkers. My coworkers sent me off with a small treasure trove of gifts: a small roll cake, a handpainted fan from a local artisan, a tin of Alishan oolong tea, and a couple collector's books of stamps (hooray for philately, I suppose?). Most of the stamps were different Chiayi specialties and iconic sights, but my favorite was the one of Budai Junior High itself.

Although I didn't spend that much time at Budai this year, I was touched by everyone's goodbyes. I could tell that the community was full of caring, curious students and faculty alike, and I appreciated everyone's support. The long drive home past rice fields, stray dogs, and old houses was a sad and introspective one indeed.

After school, the sky was heavy with dark clouds that threatened rain, which only added to the pensive mood. My roommate, partner, and I had leftovers for dinner, then I had my last Mandarin lesson. I was sad to say goodbye to my tutor, but with the move to the US, a jam-packed summer, and the time zone shift, it wouldn't've worked out in the end. Oh, day of goodbyes—only one of many.

Wednesday was a long day filled with intermittent downpours. I spent my whole morning at Puzi Hospital for my legs. The doctor told me I had injured my ligaments for both knees, which had resulted in some severe inflammation, and gave me a cortisol shot, then prescribed me a bunch of meds. Fun.

For the rest of the afternoon, I shlepped some of my items to the post office with my partner, where we packed and shipped our stuff back to the US. After spending hours filling out forms and taping up boxes, we ended up sending three boxes of items back to the US by sea. Estimated time until arrival: three months.

We had to shelter in the post office for a little while rain poured outside. The sidewalks flooded, and the sky cracked with thunder, but eventually, the rain let up enough for us to meet up with two other Chiayi Fulbrighters in the city. We went to a delicious Japanese restaurant (skewers and sushi, yum) and spent the dinner chatting about the end of the grant period. It was a bit scary to think about leaving our schools, cohort, and lives in Taiwan behind in a couple of days, but it was comforting to be able to talk about it together.

Afterwards, the four of us headed to Minsheng Café (民生咖啡) for dessert. It was a cute place, complete with two cats that both insisted on drinking out of a little fountain. We had some tasty drinks and snacks, including hot cocoa, flan, and Basque cheesecake. As little time as we had together (thanks to the thunderstorm preventing us from meeting sooner), I had a nice evening, and I was sad it was our last café hang together.

I ran some errands on Thursday, which included finding a buyer for my scooter! I didn't get much money for it, but at least I sold it. Then, my partner and I hung out at Budai Harbor and went back to the taiyaki café (銀魚燒), where I got a tasty ice cream oolong drink. We vibed there for a bit, picked up an oyster fritter together, then went to Baishuihu to watch the sunset. The oyster fritter was mid (it made me miss the ones on Little K last year), but the area was lovely. We watched a storm front roll through, heading north from Tainan, and from the coast, we could even see heavy gray sheets of rain strike Alishan and Chiayi City.

As the tide flowed out, the two of us crossed over to the sandbar. It was my partner's first time visiting, and I think he was charmed by the old remains of houses sinking into the sea, the dead trees standing upright in the waves, and the tile and ceramic fragments littering the beach. We went beach combing and found a bunch of interesting house remnants, including a striped orange tile, a speckled red stone fragment, and a glossy dark green tile with white paint.

While we scavenged, we got to watch the most beautiful sunset. The storm front left a brilliant blue sky in its wake, separating the sky into a striking orange horizon and a brighter blue vault above. It was the perfect sunset to finish off a lovely outing with my partner, and it made me cherish every coastal sunset of the past year even more.

Sadly, the lovely outing didn't end quite as perfectly. On the long drive from Baishuihu to Puzi, my scooter ended up striking a tiny piece of wire, which ended up puncturing my tire. Although my tire got increasingly wobbly as we drove home, we managed to make it to our neighborhood scooter shop so the mechanic could patch the hole.

Friday, June 28th, was the last day of the grant period, and my last day of English teaching in Taiwan. I headed to Guogou Junior High as always, then taught my final goodbye lesson. I had fun playing games and handing out prizes to my seventh graders, but part of me still couldn't believe that it was my last class ever.

I spent the rest of the day saying goodbye to my coworkers. Three of them, including one of my LETs, were leaving the school as well, and they brought cards, bubble teas, and little cakes all the teachers. In return, I gave little tiramisus to my LETs and keychains to my office coworkers. One of my coworkers seemed especially sad to see me go, and he invited me to come back to Chiayi and Guogou whenever I could.

Around 3pm, the seventh and eighth graders gathered in front of the school for an end-of-year sendoff, and by 3:30pm, they headed home for summer vacation. It felt incredibly mundane watching them leave the same way they had every day for a year, and I half expected to see them come back on Monday. We had a staff meeting afterwards, during which the faculty thanked me for my hard work, and the principal presented me with a massive bouquet of flowers. They were beautiful!

Throughout the day, I was touched by everyone's kind goodbyes, especially since I felt like I'd gotten to know the school so well. I was going to miss the kids most of all, in all of their energetic, happy, rambunctious joy. In spite of how much I'd miss the school, driving home for the final time didn't feel as mournful as I expected. Instead, I was still in disbelief that this truly was the end, as I had been for the rest of the day.

After school, the cohort had our last hurrah. We had a stir-fry dinner, got bubble tea for dessert, then hung out at Taibao for our little goodbye party. Over the course of the evening, we played card games, a who-knows-everyone best quiz, and a round of Mafia guest-narrated by the Chiayi cohort member who departed early (courtesy of LINE and voice calling), then had a clothing swap and a salsa dancing class led by two of our own. Sadly, my knees weren't feeling good enough to dance, but it was fun to watch everyone learn together.

I also received my birthday card and some goodbye postcards during the party, which were touching. I hadn't cried all day, but I teared up reading my birthday card messages. Leaving felt a little weird. Actually, it felt very weird, because that evening felt like it was just another Friday, followed by just another weekend and week at school, but it wasn't. It was the end of everything, and another day of goodbyes in slow, sorrowful process of leaving Taiwan.

On Saturday, I had one last trip into Chiayi City. Under a hot, bright blue sky, my partner and I drove into the city one last time, then headed to Hinoki Village. We spent a while combing through the wish plaques with the other Kinmen ETA-turned-Chiayi ETF until eventually, we found the tag we had written last year as Kinmen ETAs. It felt like a full circle kind of moment, from the end(ish) of one grant year to another. I especially liked seeing what we had wished for ourselves then and reflecting upon what we wished for ourselves now.

We then drove into the mountains to visit Bless Café, the cozy café with nature-y vibes and a cute dog. The three of us hung out for hours sipping tea, sharing desserts, and just talking in a way I'd missed. Honestly, I still miss it.

As the sun set, we drove back into the city for dessert and ended up at Smokin' BBQ, which was another stop we'd also made on that Chiayi City trip a lifetime (or a grant period) ago. We hung out at Wenhua Park and ate together, then had to part ways. Somehow, this goodbye didn't hurt as much—I knew I'd see the other ETF again stateside.

On Sunday, I left Chiayi with my partner to start a "huandao" (環島, trip around the island) of sorts. We took the HSR north for the last time, the mountains and fields and sky wonderfully picturesque, then went to Songshan Airport. While we were dropping off our bags, I actually ran into one of the preschool teachers from Jhuo Huan from last year. It was nice to see her again, and it reminded me that no matter how long I'd stay away from Kinmen, no matter when I'd finally come back, at least one Kinmenese person I knew would always be waiting in Songshan Airport. We also ran into one of my former fourth graders, some Penghu Fulbrighters, and a couple of other ETFs on their way home, too. It was nice to see everyone again, no matter how briefly.

The two of us had a ramen lunch with friend, then caught our flight to Matsu, which is the last county in Taiwan I had to visit! We landed on Nangan, which is the biggest of the islands, and it was beautiful. On the drive to the hotel, I noticed that it felt a lot like Little K. The roads were extremely hilly, and leafy trees crowded the sides of roads, which quickly gave way to views of the sea. We even passed a free-roaming chicken or two, just like the ones near my old school.

Around 4pm, my partner and I went on a quick afternoon tour of some of Nangan's attractions. We started in Jinsha Village, which was a traditional village that felt surprisingly Mediterranean. The houses were boxy and made from stone, unlike most other Taiwanese houses I've seen, with tiled orange roofs with rocks stuck on each tile. Since there were a ton of stairs, my partner actually ended up carrying me up and down the village (to the great amusement of the other tourists).

Then, we drove north along the coast and looked out over the ocean while the sun sank lower and lower in the sky. We made stops at the island's giant Matsu Statue, Matsu Tianhou Temple, and a little shop that served "Matsu hamburgers", or bagel-like shaobings (燒餅, or crispy, fluffy flatbreads frequently topped with sesame) stuffed with egg and roasted meat. As spread out as Nangan's attractions were, I liked the quaint vibes of each town.

Once we'd had several Matsu hamburgers, the two of us hung out at a café by the harbor called Furen Café (夫人咖啡館). It was a charming place housed in one of Matsu's traditional houses, and the quirky, nature-y vibes reminded me of the Alishan café we visited earlier in the year. We relaxed by the harbor, pet some old dogs, and tried a slushy made from succulent leaves, which was surprisingly delicious.

Around 9pm, my partner and I went to Niujiao Beach to see star sand (星砂). In addition to blue tears, Matsu is known for its star sand, which is a phenomenon caused by single-celled organisms in star-shaped exoskeletons fluorescing bright blue. The beach was incredibly dark, but every time we stepped, we left star sand glowing in our wake. Walking across the sand almost felt like walking through a sea of stars! It reminded me of some of the wonder from seeing blue tears for the first time last year, and I think it was an incredible end to my second and final Fulbright grant period.

It still feels weird knowing both how close and how far the events of this blog post are from me right now. The end of the grant was a time of chaos and illness, but also a time of hangouts, goodbye dinners, and little adventures together. Somehow, it also felt much more mundane than I had expected. Maybe it was just me living in disbelief as I bid goodbye to my schools, my cohort, and my county, but I couldn't believe that they were all the last time I'd see these people or places. It always felt like there was more time, and there always would be—I would wake up at 7am again on Monday and go back to school, then I'd have my lunch, my midday nap, and go home to my roommate.

Being three months out, I miss the routine. I miss my roommate dearly, I miss my old scooter and our quirky apartment, and I miss hanging out with people. More importantly, I miss Taiwan: its people, its local charm, its natural beauty. I'm especially going to miss the fruit of Taiwan, particularly the fresh, juicy mangoes that were everywhere. I think I'm lucky to have lived in such a beautiful place for so long. Part of me feels like I'll always miss Taiwan, and maybe I will. But maybe someday, I'll come back.

Writer's Note: This blog post was originally written on Weednesday, September 25th, 2024.